Keepy Ups: England

Showing posts with label England. Show all posts

02 November 2009

Back to a favorite subject: making fun of Liverpool.

You all know my love/hate relationship with Liverpool (and my soft spot for scousers apparently). I can't give up a chance to poke a little fun. It's so easy: over emotional, over sentimental with paranoid victimisation complexes. That said, when they're doing well (or beating Manchester United) I can't help but cheer them on a bit for the same exact reasons.

So football365.com has given some shocking stats with regard just how much trouble Liverpool are in.

Liverpool
* Only six Premier League teams - Burnley, Wigan, Birmingham, Blackburn, Hull and Portsmouth - have lost more league games than Liverpool this season.

* Liverpool have conceded twice as many goals as at the same stage last season.

* Fernando Torres has scored 45 goals in 68 Premier League games for Liverpool at an average of two goals every three games.

* Liverpool had 64% of the possesion at Fulham but managed only one shot on target - Torres' goal. ...

* Bottom club Pompey have conceded fewer goals than Liverpool this season.

It all makes one wonder just how long they'll stay towards the top of the table. Hull were doing brilliantly last year until December. Oh my god, Liverpool fans will persecute me for comparing them with Hull.

While tagging this post I realised I have a "Teams that will surely beat Liverpool" tag. Oh this is a long standing tradition round these parts.

Posted by Chrissy at 11:10 PM 0 comments

Labels: England, England Premiership, Fernando Torres, Liverpool FC, Portsmith, Teams that will surely beat Liverpool

15 February 2008

Robson is a bigger idiot than I ever thought

Sky Sports | Football | News | Robson leaves Blades

Bryan Robson has left Sheffield United after turning down the opportunity to become a director of football, with Kevin Blackwell named as his successor.

Wow... you've been sacked from how many jobs recently and then decide a cushy recruiting job isn't for you?

What a fucking maroon!

Posted by Chrissy at 2:24 AM 1 comments

Labels: Championship, England, Sheffield United, Things that make me laugh

08 February 2008

While you were worried about Villa playing in Suriname

The Premier League went ahead and approved a 7 deep subs bench, which is something Rafa Benetiz and his overpriced rotation system was asking for ages ago. It was brought to vote by Spurs' Chairman (according to last nights 5 Live Football Daily).

Anyway, the reasoning seems to be "giving young people a shot". Old cynics like us here think it's because naming more overpaid supersubs to the bench might attract more people to a particular club and help the rich ones play "buy all the players so no one else could get them" ala CSKA Chelski.

Posted by Chrissy at 11:21 AM 0 comments

Labels: CSKA Chelski, England, English Premiership, Ideas to Blow up in one's Face

Cities best suited for Premiership Clubs WAATPS

There's a fantastically lollerific piece from Who Ate All the Pies on the 20 cities for Premiership Matches. A Definite must read.

A few examples of the ones that made us chuckle.

Manchester United - Calais
Closer than Old Trafford for most United fans.
Sunderland - Dublin
Everything else about the club is Irish, including the chairman and manger, so the home ground might as well be.
Wigan - Las Vegas
Titus Bramble's Travelling Slapstick Show would be the hottest ticket in town.

Posted by Chrissy at 10:12 AM 0 comments

Labels: England, English Premiership, lulz

07 February 2008

English Premiership Clubs to play games abroad??

The 20 Premier League clubs are reported to have agreed in principle to a radical plan that would see each team playing an extra match a season abroad.

Under the proposal, cities such as Hong Kong, New York, Los Angeles, Singapore, Sydney, Johannesburg, Dubai and Beijing would stage matches between two Premier League sides.

--SkySports
As excited as I am about the prospect of getting a match in the US, I can not help but think this is just one more nail in the coffin of English Football. Tom Hicks has said that he's bought Liverpool because of the tremendous television and internet deals involved. This is for marketing and money and that can only be a bad thing. Are they going to start Bye Weeks as well? Some of those cities above are horrible distance from England.

Jesus this is such a Bad Thing (tm)

Posted by Chrissy at 10:11 AM 0 comments

Labels: England, England Premiership, Greedy Foreign Money

Manchester United insists the world must share in their tragedy

Manchester United have confirmed the minute's silence will go ahead at the Manchester derby despite the jeers that were heard at Wembley. The news comes after Wednesday night's minute silence at England's friendly clash with Switzerland was cut short by 20 seconds after disrespectful fans whistled and jeered towards the end of the tribute

-- TeamTalk

I agree that it is disrespectful to boo and jeer during the moments silence. BUT WHEN YOU KNOW IT'S GOING TO HAPPEN ISN'T IT DISRESPECTFUL TO GO ALONG WITH THE PLANS. It just serves to further the Manchester United Pity Party. As I said yesterday, I am no fan of shared tragedy. If it didn't effect you there is no need to fucking commerate it. But Manchester United are setting themselves up to be "Poor Manchester United, we're so picked on because we're the best, those beastly City supporters can't even respect what animals". Nothing pisses me off more than that bullshit.

Truly respectful for those who died at Munich would be to stop trolling it out to put you all in the spotlight again. How much additional positive press has United gotten over the past 4 weeks? Don't tell me it's not marketing just because they're not selling the shirts.

Truly respectful would be to not let booing idiots ruin the moment of silence by having a moment of applause instead.

Truly respectful would not be using this as another reason to get into the fucking spotlight.

AND THAT'S finally all I have to say about it. I avoided it for a month but now you have it.

Posted by Chrissy at 10:00 AM 0 comments

Labels: England, English Premiership, Manchester Derby, Munich Air Disaster

06 February 2008

RIP Mathew Upson's Beard

*moment of silence*

Olaf Melberg is the only one left, and he's going to Juve this summer.

I vote for Crouch to grow one next.

Posted by Chrissy at 9:24 AM 1 comments

Labels: beards, England, English Premiership, nonsense

05 February 2008

Cut rate striker for half the price!

Apparently Manchester City was able to sign Benjani not for the 7mil they agreed to for 3.87mil. I'm not quite sure how or why this happened despite the window closing before everything was completed but good on city for turning a potential disaster panic buy into something less costly.

But seriously, unless you're interested in Munich, Benjani, or Africa Cup of Nations this week has been BORING. Roll on tomorrow when we can all bemoan how shit England is.

Posted by Chrissy at 7:14 PM 0 comments

Labels: England, English Premiership, Manchester City

I don't do shared tragedy

so you'll forgive my lack of Munich Tribute. God forbid I do not perpetuate the bullshit. The whole thing does more to disgrace what happened than it does to commemorate it

Posted by Chrissy at 7:10 PM 0 comments

Labels: England, Frank Swift, Manchester United, Munich Air Disaster

04 February 2008

Jimmy Bullard

Long time readers (well Chris O) will know that I have nothing but love for one James Bullard. He's quality on the field and off.

Was glad to see that he scored an injury time winner against Villa for Fulham today. Have been looking for a youtube clip but can't find it.

In lieu of that, here's a video of the legend himself in dirty laundry with someone's jock strap on his head.. I do hope it was his.

Posted by Chrissy at 12:34 AM 1 comments

Labels: Aston Villa, England, English Premeriship, Fulham, Jimmy Bullard, Video, Wigan Athletic, You tube

01 February 2008

Typical City

This Benjani deal is just typical fucking City it's not even funny.

That said, I'm not sure if City really wants Benjani, and if this isn't a panic buy. He's hit a good run of form but he's not the quality striker in my opinion that City want. He's certainly not worth 9m.

Feel bad for Redders though, he's now got two overpriced strikers!

Posted by Chrissy at 7:53 PM 2 comments

Labels: Benjani, England, English Premiership, Manchester City, Transfer Window

31 January 2008

KK 6/1 for the sack!

Keegan now third favourite for chop behind Coppell and Benitez

LATEST BETTING; Next Premiership Manager To Leave

Rafa Benitez 2/1
Steve Coppell 5/1
Kevin Keegan 6/1
Gareth Southgate 6/1
Roy Hodgson 8/1
Gary Megson 12/1
Alex McLeish 14/1
Harry Redknapp 14/1
Steve Bruce 16/1
Roy Keane 20/1
Paul Jewell 25/1
Alan Curbishley 25/1
Mark Hughes 33/1
Martin O'Neill 40/1
Avram Grant 40/1
David Moyes 50/1
Sven Goran Eriksson 66/1
Juande Ramos 66/1
Alex Ferguson 66/1
Arsene Wenger 100/1

I'm not used to a City Manager being such high odds to be fired.

Posted by Chrissy at 6:30 AM 1 comments

Labels: Betting odds, England, English Premiership, Kevin Keegan, Newcastle

30 January 2008

West Ham 1 - 0 Liverpool

Jamie Carragher is a thug. How many times has he gotten away with dirty tricks in the box and not conceded a penalty? While it is heartbreaking to drop to 7th place in such a fashion, it's a well deserved win for the Hammers who just outplayed Liverpool all night.

I reckon though that Liverpool will probably still finish 4th because Everton really don't have the depth and Villa and City will "fall apart" at the end of the season. City is already starting (a draw away to Derby?? jesus).

Watch this space for some more indepth posts on a couple of topics screaming to get out of my head tomorrow.

Posted by Chrissy at 7:30 PM 0 comments

Labels: Aston Villa, Derby County, England, English Premiership, Everton, Liverpool FC, Manchester City

24 January 2008

More LULZ from Football

I have to admit I find English Football and the English Football press to be one of the most hilarious things since the beginning of time. From the use of not-so-direct "direct quotes" in which Footballers' language is cleaned up to sound more erudite or just plain literate than they are to footballers feeding their own stories to the news under the auspices of having loads of friends.

Anyway, this story from yesterday's Sky Sports, which I just read today due to a 12 hour sleep fest last night, made me laugh for a good 2 minutes.

John Terry claims Liverpool defender Jamie Carragher is the best in the world.

The England captain believes Carragher, who retired from internationals last year, compares favourably with any defender in the game today.

"I personally think that over the last four or five years he has been the best defender in the world," Terry told the official Liverpool website.

"He's been consistent in the Premier League, he's never injured, he always gives 100 per cent, he's a good reader of the game, he's quick and is good in the air.

I can only imagine the doublethink going on there that and how somehow in his tiny blue head complimenting Carra would ensure that Terry's England's captain when he comes back from his 9000th injury this year. If he is the best defender in the world why would so many crappy defenders get picked over him again and again.

My opinion of Carragher is that he's a thug and a merchant of sneaky tackles and suplexes in the box for which he hardly ever gets caught.

Posted by Chrissy at 8:47 AM 0 comments

Labels: England, Jamie Carragher, John Terry, Press

08 January 2008

Wow.. Ramos might know what he's talking about after all.

BBC SPORT | Football | My Club | Tottenham Hotspur | Defoe told he can leave Tottenham

Tottenham striker Jermain Defoe has revealed coach Juande Ramos has told him he can leave White Hart Lane.

But the 25-year-old England forward - who is out of contract at the end of next season - insists he wants to stay.

Defoe told The Sun: "The manager has said I can leave if I want, but I want to stay here and prove him wrong.

"He called me into his office and told me. I thought it was a joke. I thought he was going to say I would be starting against Arsenal in the Carling Cup."

Defoe got Merked.

Posted by Chrissy at 6:22 AM 0 comments

Labels: England, English Premiership, Juande Ramos, Spurs

07 January 2008

I'm just giving him more attention I know

RTÉ Sport: Berbatov 'fed up' with media frenzy

Tottenham Hotspur striker Dimitar Berbatov is growing tired of the continued speculation over his future with the London club and wants to be left alone by the media.

If he wasn't constantly whining and pouting, no one would give a crap about him. So he is reaping what he's sowing Not that he's really that bothered, I'm sure. Keeps his names in the paper.

Posted by Chrissy at 7:13 AM 0 comments

Labels: England, English Premiership, Spurs

04 January 2008

FA CUP Worries from a City Fan

If I'm honest, I'm worried that the FA Cup might be canceled due to lack of interested after Saturday's clash at West Ham.

Posted by Chrissy at 3:08 PM 2 comments

Labels: England, FA Cup 07/08, Manchester City, Typical City, West Ham United

03 January 2008

Big Sam and his Pink Scarf

A lot of talk has been made the past couple of days about how if Sir Alex the Asshole and Arsene Wenger were newly hired today, they'd never have stayed at their respective teams because people don't give managers chances anymore. It's a cliche argument but it looks true doesn't it?

Big Sam is class. Big Scary Class. The kind of guy who isn't afraid to wear a pink scarf because he'll swallow your head whole if you say anything about it. Obviously there is a motivation problem in the locker room and a lack of confidence. How much of that can be laid at the Large one's feet and not at the feet of the yeoman (and Mickey Owen) gun-shy players he's got? His signings haven't been shit (Joey the jailbird notwithstanding) as much as the existing players in the locker room not accepting him and his signings.

It might not be the best fit, and it's very hard to rebuild in an open league worth the shit ton of money that the Premiership is worth, but it seems like if you don't give the managers the time they need to do what they need to do, you'll never know if it's a good fit or just adjustment / rebuilding. I suspect that if the players aren't behind you it might not be the best fit and it probably is a bit more than just rebuilding, but you can't know because he's not been given any real amount of time. And seriously, how many managers are Newcastle going to go through in a 3 year period? Big Sam's the best that lot and deserves at least until the end of the season before he's done.

Can tell you know one unrelated thing: England would have qualified for Euro if England went the way of the Big one.

Posted by Chrissy at 5:23 AM 0 comments

Labels: Big Sam, England, English Premiership, Newcastle

14 December 2007

hahahhaa capello's mom

ESPNsoccernet - England - Mamma Capello worried about her bambino

True to the stereotype of Italy's famously matriarchal society, octogenarian Evelina Tortul fears for the well-being of the man set to be confirmed imminently as Steve McClaren's successor.

'I am really not very happy about this,' she told the Daily Telegraph.

'The newspapers and the television are going to be on his back all the time now, and talk badly about everything he does - whether it is good or bad.

'My peaceful days are over.'

Signora Tortul's grave reservations appear to extend beyond the levels of parental concern which might be reasonably expected in this country.

'The problem with the media is that it is fine when you are winning, but when you lose they cut your throat,' she believes.

'I'm his mother, so that is going to make me unhappy.'

Posted by Chrissy at 7:39 AM 0 comments

Labels: England, Fabio Capello, Mom's who need to MTOB

08 December 2007

Rafa's Beard

Stole this picture from Pies. The best football picture of the year. srsly

Posted by Chrissy at 8:20 PM 0 comments

Labels: England, English Premiership, Liverpool FC, things that scare children at night

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